GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING Ladies, Gentlemen, and viewers of every variety in between! My name is Salendar, your guide through the next fifteen minutes the studio has bothered to provide us with! Today we have three more astonishing stories for you, as is our usual structure, including rising stars, dead ends and... Cassy. I don't know what I can say about that without getting my show cancelled. Without further ado, take a seat, relax, and let me erode your faith in the local community!
Our first tale brings a burst of colour to the mundane, as the mysterious Music Man dressed in orange and yellow, serenades children in hospitals with his enchanting tunes. His melodies have a metaphorically magical touch, bringing joy and healing to the young patients.
Salendar sighs heavily, tapping a pencil against the table. He stays silent for a few moments.
I don't write these scripts, and I already improvise more than I'm meant to. This story is supposed to be about how amazingly generous this singer is, but lets take a step back here. He has no license or booking, he's wearing a mask, we know nothing about him, but the hospital just... let him in? Why? If you ask me, this is another failing in Nullore's leadership. Just letting this stuff slip through the cracks, endangering our children... Daryl specifically should have done something about this, surely?
Anyway, lets move on before I get taken off the air. The Music Man as he's known is spreading joy throughout the city, and has become a symbol of generosity. Upon questioning, he claims only to sing, and is not able to play any instruments
In what I'm obliged to tell you is a completely unrelated incident, twelve street performers met with gruesome ends last week, their own instruments turned against them. The murdered performers exclusively used instruments, and were found mutilated by their own instruments in a variety of fun locations, including bins, underground train tracks, rooftops and in one case, twenty feet up a tree hanging comedically from an accordian. The city is gripped by fear, and rumours swirl. Are these unrelated deaths or the machinations of a malevolent maestro? Join us as we navigate the eerie streets, attempting to unravel the discordant mysteries that echo in the silence. I'd love to promise you an enticing mystery, but I think we all know what's going on here.
Despite silence from Nullore's poor leadership, council candidate Cassy the chimera has responded! After the disturbing murders of street performers, blame falls on the shoulders of otherworldly beings traditionally thought of as monsters. Some citizens, fueled by prejudice, point fingers at monsters, which doesn't seem unreasonable given the history of violence that tends to follow werewolves around. Cassy, representative of the Guild for the Rights of Other Worldly Life, steps into the spotlight, addressing the accusations and advocating for understanding between realms. To quote the chimera, "As a proud representative of GROWL, I want to address recent events. It's disheartening to see blame unfairly cast upon otherworldly beings. Let's resist fear and prejudice. Instead, unite as a community to seek understanding and bridge gaps. Celebrate our differences, build a city where everyone coexists harmoniously. Together, we can overcome adversity and ensure no one is left behind." Given the current standard of leadership - and their average lifespan - she's got my vote.
With the thrilling, unsolvable riddle of which unhinged musician may or may not have murdered twelve street performers hanging over your heads, This is unfortunately where I have to leave you for the week. If you have your own stories to share, please contact the studio at 0800-notmyproblem-1701. If we use your story, we'll make sure to give you the credit you deserve! Tune in next week for more tales that will leave you wondering, laughing, and with any luck, blindly believing anything the fancy lizardfolk on the TV tells you. Until then, thank you for listening to Bright Side News, where the glass is always one tenth full!
