GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between! My name is Salendar, and I'll be your host for yet another episode of Bright Side News! Before we get into our official stories, I have one story of my own to share. I recently discovered that my manager, Gale, is looking for someone to co-host the show with me. I didn't mind to start with, in fact I was going to invite you to audition! But then, I found out something truly awful... my co-host would speak! They'd try to present stories! Marvellous viewers, I have been doing this job far too long to let some bright eyed amateur present MY show. Whatever you see on the less reputable news channels, I promise you, Gale won't be getting rid of me any time soon. At least not until he changes his name, address and lifestyle, starts talking in a new voice and hides somewhere even the gods can't follow him. Now, with that out of the way, tonight's headlines!
For our first story, the five hundredth anniversary of the Mystic Masquerade will be this Thursday! On the night of every blood moon, the Medeis Collegium - a pretentious group of wizards - arrange a masquerade ball in an undisclosed city in southwestern Tiberia. I'm not allowed to tell you where exactly... Just a days ride east of Brigadalle. On a mountain. Wizards, sorcerers and other such snobs gather from all across the realms to dance, drink and scry! Many of the biggest arcane secrets of all have been discovered on just such nights, guiding empires to their modern wealth and power! To celebrate half a millennia of their completely unwanted services, the Medeis Collegium have decided to capture and import hundreds of magical beasts for their entertainment. Drunken wizards, monsters in cages, a room full of big egos... Something tells me this one is going to have a followup story.
On the topic of magical mistakes begging for the chance to level a city, a team of archeologists have recently uncovered an ancient tomb at the base of the Mother's Crown mountain range. Little has been learnt so far, as the five teams sent in to collect data have all gone missing. Screams echo through the labyrinthine burial site, and death seems as unavoidable as it is painful. Naturally, upon hearing about yet another exciting chance to die alone in the dark, adventurers have flocked to the freezing Dwarven stronghold, and companies like our sponsor - Kobold Korner, _for all your adventuring needs!_ - have been making a fortune selling weapons and equipment to any fool willing to throw themselves into the home of the dead. Who knows, maybe if enough of the idiots volunteer, whatever monsters are in there might be crushed to death under a pile of idiots. We can only hope...
The terrible thing about magic is that the fools using it are no longer restricted to underground catacombs or even mountaintops. In this instance, I've heard rumours of a mysterious tower that drifts through the skies, its spires wreathed in swirling mists and arcane energy. According to witnesses of the tower's arrival, the structure simply appeared in the sky one night without so much as an evil cackling to announce itself. This enigmatic structure has captured the imagination of scholars and adventurers alike. Some believe it to be a sanctuary for practitioners of forbidden magic, while others claim it holds the key to unlocking untold god-like powers. Despite countless attempts to locate and explore the tower, it has proven difficult to track, appearing only briefly before vanishing into the aether once more. Whilst the structure hasn't caused any damage yet, the Nullore city council advises that in the event of the tower's arrival, all citizens stay safely hidden indoors. It wouldn't be the first time that an imposing stone structure has shot lasers at us.
Well, it's once again time for us to part ways I'm afraid. If you have any public speaking ability, I'm contractually obligated to encourage you to audition for the job of hosting BSN. I don't recommend it, the pay isn't great and the boss is a monster, but I legally have to tell you about the opening. If you have any valuable insights of your own, contact us at 0800-notmyproblem-1701 and who knows, maybe I'll respond! Until next week, thank you for tuning in to Bright Side News, where the glass is always one tenth full!
