GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, Ladies, Gentlemen, and viewers of every variety in between! My name is Salendar, and I'll be your host for this episode of Bright Side News! Today on this highly unsustainable show, we have three more tales from across the realms, each carefully curated by our team of talented... curated by our team. I've read through today's script a few times now, and it's one of the stranger things to come across my table recently. It will be my great pleasure to present the train crash that is the news this week! Without further ado, welcome to Bright Side News...
If you know me well at all, you'll know that I love nothing more than to look at the small joys in life, those things that give us value, the tiny things that make it all worthwhile... and then tear it apart with little to no respect for the subjects. Today is no different, for deep in the swamps of Helatrix, A lone traveller has found a magical artefact the likes of which we've never before seen. They travelled long through the swamps, braving many dangers, and risking their life to take this artifact back home to Nullore, and are using its power to become the hero this city really needs... The Time Warden! That's the official name for our newest hero, bending time itself to his whim! It's printed on the merchandise and everything! Naturally I think the idea of yet another masked character running around Nullore saving people is a massive issue for the security of the public, but apparently I'm in the minority. The hero recently stopped a bank robbery by just... moving time backwards and catching the thieves in the act. Only time will tell whether they turn out to be a true hero or a ticking time bomb... place your bets now.
Another strange development has happened in a town just south of Mother's Crown. Mother's Crown, for those who don't know, is a mountain range controlled by the dwarves. A new restaurant has opened in the area, advertising its incredible automated experience, Where mechanical golems will cook and serve your meals! A truly unique experience for the customers, but stirs controversy in the culinary community, as they fear these mechanical machinations are replacing not only their jobs, but the artistry of their work. As much as I appreciate an expertly cooked meal, sometimes I just want a damned cheese burger.
For our final story, a different kind of artistry. Out on the Silver Bay, on the Western Coast, graffiti had been appearing in just about every alleyway left unguarded. They appear to be using a similar trick to the Living Library we spoke about last episode - if you haven't watched our previous episodes, they're all available right here for an indeterminate length of time! We have no idea how long this studio can sustain our show, and I don't know where the archives are stored! For all I know this could be our last episode before the Seeliaph in the basement gets free and eats my camera crew. Anyway, the story. This mysterious artist is drawing animated images of another world. One with tall towers of glass and metal, horseless carriages moving at impossible speeds, people staring at little boxes with lights in… The artist is probably insane, I don't think we should take him too seriously.
And there you have it, everyone in the realm is either crazy or unemployed. Except of course for the viewers of bright side news! We represent the best of the world, and that means we can do anything. You are better than your neighbours. Tune in next week for three more stories of radically different lengths, and if you have a story of your own to share, you can contact us at 0800-notmyproblem-1701! Until then, thank you for listening to Bright Side News, where as always, the glass is always one-tenth full!
